Deep Beyond Inside

No one knows what i feel..
Deep beyond inside.
Only Allah knows it..

In the crowd, people never know what i feel.. i tried to hide all my sorrow..
When i'm alone, only Allah be the witness of my tears..
I hide it from them.. But sometimes, i failed to do so..

I missed her so much..
I want to share my feeling with you..
I want to tell you my routine..
I want to tell you everything..
I want to tell what happen to me..
I want to be by your side..
and the most important thing,I want to let you know that i really love you..

because, i missed your voice,
i missed your smile..
i missed your advice..
i missed to pray with you..
you be the imam..
and sometimes, i be the imam..
i missed the moment when we were praying together.
after perform the solah, i look your condition first, i know you were sick..
i opened your telekung and let you had a rest..

every morning, i would be your nurse..
we prepared you for solat.. i prepared your breakfast before taking your medicine and some supplement for your health..

i couldnt see you suffered mom.. everytime you said you were sick, i cant do nothing..
when you were not able to move your hand, i know it suffered..
Allah gave us the last opportunity to do your daily routine..
i prepared food, i bathed you..
it was such a relief for me to have a chance to take care of you at the end of your life..
but i was not with you at the end of your life..
i came back just to see you were lying..
your eyes were closed.. your body was still..
it was the most sad moment in my life..